The Old Man (Seinfeld)

Jerry, Elaine, and George volunteer to help visit elderly people. Jerry gets assigned to visit Sid Fields, an ill-tempered old man with a Senegalese housekeeper, who he claims is trying to steal his possessions. Elaine is repulsed by the goiter of the woman she is visiting, while George depresses his assigned senior citizen, Ben Cantwell, by questioning his outlook on dying - enough so that Ben walks out on their lunch together. George becomes interested in Mr. Fields' housekeeper after Jerry mentions that she is attractive and can not speak English.

Kramer and Newman try selling Jerry's old vinyl records to a used record store but are not satisfied when the owner offers them a very small amount, as the records are all by obscure artists and of minimal interest. Mr. Fields tells Jerry he is eager to throw away of some of his "junk", including more old records. When Jerry invites Kramer and Newman to come pick them up, Fields gets upset at their frantic intrusion and bites Kramer's arm, causing him to jerk back and launch Fields' dentures into the sink. They are promptly destroyed after George (visiting to meet the housekeeper) turns on the garbage disposal, mistaken for a light switch.

Jerry loses track of Mr. Fields when they try to take him to the dentist to replace the dentures. Kramer and Newman return to the music store with Fields' records, but the owner offers them only a slightly larger sum of money, since the records are all very common. Kramer eggs Newman into insulting the owner and a fight ensues, resulting in the records being destroyed. After discovering that the phone line in Mr. Fields’ apartment is busy, everyone (including Fields' son) rushes over, expecting Fields to have found his way back. Instead, they burst in on George sitting shirtless on the couch with the housekeeper rubbing oil on him.

Elaine is amazed when her charge recounts how she once had an affair with Mohandas Gandhi. Fields and Cantwell then meet in the same cafe booth the main characters use, having much the same conversation Jerry and George had at the beginning of the episode. Fields tells Cantwell about the woman he was recently "fixed up" with - mentioning both her goiter and her youthful relationship with Gandhi. However, Fields recounts that she had put milk in the tea without asking, calling it "a turnoff".

Lanei Chapman plays the housekeeper. In an alternate ending to this episode that was never broadcast, her character reveals that she speaks fluent English (with an accent native to New York, not Senegal), causing George to lose interest in her.

• "The Old Man" at IMDb